awww…sweetpea don’t give up. Sometimes you just have to have forgivness in your heart. I know it’s hard and I am not sure of everything you went thru but holding hatred sometimes does more damage to you then the person who hurt you. Distance is a good thing if you know it’s going to start trouble but if you give up … well that’s all you have nothing. Maybe she hates herself so much and her life experances so much that she has taken it out on you. And that is not fair by anymeans but she is your mother and God assigned you to her for a reason. Maybe that reason is to make her a better person. I know you wrote this a while ago and I hope things have changed but just know forgivness is a powerful thing.