“I just want to sit here for awhile and be left alone. Without burdens and responsibilities and the need to make decisions.” That sounds about right. I feel like I have been left in charge and I can’t take it anymore. Even when I was married I was really a sigle mom and now that they are getting older, 17, 19 and 21, I feel spent. I love my girls with all fo my heart and I ahve done a wonderful job raising them but as they grow so do the problems. When I couldn;t get help I did it myself and now I am ready for a break from decisions and responsibilities. But it seems like there is still so far to go.
“Cannot hold a good man down without his own assistance.
That is the part I am working on… getting out of my own way and realizing that I am not responsible for every bad thing in my life… just how I deal with it.”
these two statments from another one of your entries speak to me on a different level of my life. The art of taking responsibility for the things that go bad in my life. Bad decisions, bad choices, bad situations, those things ARE my responsibility and I need to deal with them. Perhaps I need some better life coping tools.
I love this goal. It speaks to me and really puts things in perspective in so amny ways.
My current situation I got myself into and even though I am not quite certain how I am going to get out of it, I hope to God that I learn something from it. Like learning to set better boundaries. I saw it when it happened and said nothing. I guess I shuld be happy that I recognized it this time where I have been oblivious to it in the past. I guess that is one kudos for me. Life’s lessons are not all easy.
Today, I will live one momment at a time.
