Pretty coincidental…my mom was diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus in Sept ‘05. She had radical surgery last summer, radiation, chemo, the works. Me and my siblings (6 in total) did everything for her, as we should have. She raised really helpful obedient kids. In December they discovered more cancer, but her oncologist told her it was ok to go to Florida (from her home in PA) and not start treatment for now. So…she flew into to JFK on Thursday night, I went to pick her up. The whole ride there I was sooooo angry. I didnt want to play nice at all. I was blaming her for my nasty mood, and for the traffic on the L.I.E., when the whole time I knew the real issue: Cancer sucks. It takes life force away, even though its proliferation of cells (but bad cells.) I see her coming back from Florida as cancer being back. Anyway, I will deal with all that, but the reason I am responding to Freeone is to say you are sooo on the money with “no matter what happens now I can always say to myself that I was a good daughter and that she was a great mother.” I have been there during this process many times…crying with joy at the Mom I have. More importantly, I have realized that whatever thoughts and feelings surface around a loved one with cancer, to just let them come up and out. Not marry them! Just let them flow. Keep being awesome, Freeone, for her and for you.