I decided not to journal this morning to give myself more space. I had some shopping therapy last night (fun) but got another email from him this morning. He doesn’t seem to be able to go more than a day without torturing me.

Of course this got me back into a grumpy mood all day. I blasted him in a response which then got me even grumpier. Grr.

One of these days, hopefully he will get that he hurt me.

I tend to live at extremes… if I am your friend, I am 100% there… but once I loose trust in someone, I do a 180 turn.

So, same question as yesterday… if he came back, would I take him… and I am afraid it is the same answer. Emotionally, I love him and that includes an infinite capacity to forgive if that love could be fullfilled…. but since it can not, I think I will just stick to thinking of all the ways that the universe is going to get back at him.

Meanwhile, there is a high probability that we will cross paths (but not interact) at work next week. I am just working on getting through that.

Do I…. wear high heels, thigh-high stockings, a plaid skirt and a tight sweater to make him suffer through his school girl fantasy…. or just wear a stuffy pant suit and get over it?

The school girl thing would be way too much fun…and as an added bonus, I am very friendly with a number of people (men) at the lecture so I could spend time giving them my attention… sorry, now I am just getting wicked.