help!
2 years ago
any pointers on this one? This goal seems next to impossible for me!
Comments:
Youve got to tell us more
Why does it feel impossible?
We would love to offer pointers. But we have insufficient information.
Why a cool dude like you cannot find the girls seems a mystery right now.
gingeringa is happy to see alot of familiar faces stil posting here....
I had to laugh
My nickname for Aatmiya is Aaty. So, my dear Adi, you most definitely have got to be one cool dude to not only be similar in namesake, but to have her attention as well.
It’s tough, babe, falling in love. But its a matter of opening up. Start with us. We don’t bite….too hard. And we need more info to help you.
gingeringa is happy to see alot of familiar faces stil posting here....
info
simplified:
describe the kind of woman you see
yourself with.
Describe the kind of man you are.
Now- when I was….ohhh- under 25 I did not think this way. It was merely- he’s cute. OH- and he seems interested, and voila, a relationship was born. Usually with a bit of alcohol mixed in.
'The Info'
Ok. Info as requested :-P
Describe the kind of woman I see myself with?
Answer: I don’t know, really. I haven’t really thought about it much. Anyone who can put up with me and vice versa. And she should be as good looking as Natalie Portman.(Am I asking for too much now?) :-P
Describe the kind of man I am.
Answer: Reclusive. Seclusive. Reticent. Quiet. Shy. Introverted. Boring and funny. Avid Golfer. Cinephile. Loves politics and stock markets & investing(of which stock markets and investing is my job). Loves wine. Loves reading books and graphic novels. Big time slacker/procrastinator. And above all – a pessimist.
I don’t think I listed all my characteristics, but I think that should suffice.
And, yeah, I know you would begin like this – Start going out, meet people, start clubbing, start partying, bla bla bla. :) These are the things that precisely what makes me sit at home!
So any ideas? :)
gingeringa is happy to see alot of familiar faces stil posting here....
clubbing
blech!
of course MEETING people is a matter of number crunching- so you want to meet alot of people but that seems to go against your introverted style.
Well, it’s going to be hard for you to meet anyone as most people are not typically drawn to pessimists. hehe.
But most pessimists are also not wine lovers. Unless wine lover is a euphemism for alcoholic. ;0)
What is most attractive about ANYONE is a sense of confidence and PASSION. You already have a strong sense of passion about you: “Golfer. Cinephile. Loves politics and stock markets & investing(of which stock markets and investing is my job). Loves wine.”
Stick to those things that give you joy. Oh- and you might have to overcome your shyness by talking to girls you might potentailly be interested in. Though it’s easier to go into the situation if it surrounds something you are passionate about- because then you might forget about yr shyness. Or at least be able to keep it at bay. I lvoe going to wine tastings and have met many interesting peolpe that way. But I also tend to jabber away. wine enhances my jabberjaws.
If there were an easy answer, most of us would be in fallin’ in love al over the place. Everyone has their own way of getting there.
But you are sooooo young. And yet, you have quite mature tastes in your passions. Make small teeny weeny changes very slowly. Like, try going to a wine tasting and talk to one FEMALE about wine. Who cares whether or not she is single. But just talk to her. Drop the pressure and just look for the joy of connection.
Hmm
Ok. That’s an interesting one. Thanks. I will try my best.
However….
..the place I stay is one BOOOOOORING and totally UNINTERESTING! The irony is that I’m an introvert and the city where I live – Madras – is more suitable for introverts than extroverts. I used to be an extrovert once upon a time(!) until I descended into this forlorn city. So, having said this, the idea of a wine-tasting event, or better, a film get-together is forgettable at best and practically non-existent, in this city.
I do really want to meet people. It isn’t that it against my introverted style. Its just that there aren’t people out there that matches my wavelength. I’ve had a few boring experiences in parties. Totally boring! People are all homogeneous. I often think – “I’m so different yet unnoticed.” That’s how the city I live is. Scary but true.
Oh well, gotta live with it, right? Chances of finding an attractive girl, let alone married woman that matches my wavelength are slim to none. :(
If I was in, say Bombay or London, things might have been different and I would have definitely gotten my butt out of the house! Ouch! Reality-bites!
One thing I want to ask you though. You mentioned – “Make small teeny weeny changes very slowly”. Forget wine-tastings for the moment because it practically doesn’t exist in my city.
You’ve got any ideas besides packing my bags and leaving for Hong Kong for a loud weekend? :)
PS: I guess what you say is quite true. But hey, I think you can tell me lots more! :)
gingeringa is happy to see alot of familiar faces stil posting here....
it's up to you
Adi.
When you go to these boring parties or meet boring people, alot of times things are NOT what they seem.
Almost everyone has a story. Yes- there are also BORING people out there- but mostly most of us are merely human and want to reach out to others- we just mioght be shy or seem boring being shy. Some people may be totally cool ONLINE or here at 43t but then in person are too shy tolet themselves BE FREE. Perhaps they think the same- oh- what boring people are all at this party. Nobody is on my wave-length. I guess it’s a mtter of recognizing this is just a sign of their insecurity and perhaps fear of letting THEMSELVES shine through.
I remember when I was in-between jobs and “networking”. What absolute hell for me. I was hanging out in NYC (NYC is not as fun as you might think it is- esp. unemployed w little money) w my friends who had jobs and their friends who all had jobs and I thought- UGH- these people are absolutely the most boring stick-in-the-mud types EVER. Somebody PLLLLEAZZZE save me. But then I just forced myself to enter into conversations and, before I knew it, I actually ended up having a decent time. It wasn’t a BLAST- but who has a blast every time they go out??? I did not come home w job, nor a man, but I came home having made a new experience and having come outside of myself. And made the choice to make something happen. Noone else is surely going to make things happen FOR ME.
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