pask

Think about Him with serenity (read all 38 entries…)
Dilemna 2 years ago

After almost 10 months without any real contact, is it better to

1. keep avoiding any contact, with people randomly reminding me his existence, and my mind randomly imagining how he’s doing, what he actually looks like and what I’m really feeling towards him, now ?

or

2. have a short meeting with him, like around a coffee, for 30 minutes max, and actually put this whole thing back into present reality ?

Please, Universe, could you help me with this ? before thursday morning would be great

Feb 05, 2007, 04:36AM PST | 4 cheers


Comments:

Faith

i have no answer for your dilemma Pask...

but either way i’ll be thinking about you. There are no easy answers in these matters as far as i can tell. seeing him again may bring closure or open up old wounds which are still healing.

strength.

Feb 05, 2007, 04:51AM PST | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

pask

Thanks

you erased your last entries about the Ex so I couldn’t cheer them, but I wanted to tell you it helped me to read what you had written there, and that I could so relate…

Feb 05, 2007, 05:00AM PST | Respond to this

bookish

i too have no real answer...

i can only share, having done something similar myself, that i was glad that i did, in a way, though i truly think i would have been better off if i hadn’t.

(sorry. i know that doesn’t help…)

Feb 05, 2007, 05:00AM PST | Thread | Respond to this

pask

So you

confirm it’s a real dilemna, right ? :)

Feb 05, 2007, 05:06AM PST | Thread | Respond to this

bookish

it is, it most definitely is

a dilemma

if it was my sister who asked me my opinion, i’d probably say don’t do it… but then again, she asks but then she never listens anyway, so….

you should do what feels right in the moment.

Feb 05, 2007, 05:10AM PST | Thread | Respond to this

pask

What feels right in the moment

is exactly what I will do, I think.

Feb 05, 2007, 05:18AM PST | Respond to this 1 cheer

ardilla actually graduated this fall!

No answer for _you_ particularly

but I will tell you what It answered to me: A resounding Don’t.

And I will tell you why. For exactly the same reason that it’s more probable to pick up smoking again after a year of having quit. We humans are incredibly silly creatures. We trick ourselves into believing what we were once driven so strongly to quit, may actually not be as bad. I think sometimes “maybe just a drag, or ‘a’ cigarette won’t be bad, I can handle it”.

Our minds are incredibly powerful, yet rid with biases & fallacies. The reasons why things didn’t work are very likely still there, but because they aren’t in the forefront we give higher importance to the good warm ‘n fuzzy-feeling ones.

I could list the long list of cognitive biases at play, but the heart never new a thing about logic anyway.

I’ve been trying to stay away from good vs. bad. See, I don’t think there is a right or wrong decision, there’s just an outcome, and you can ask yourself whether that outcome is desirable or not (trying to be objective). And so I can only send you good energy that you can make the choice that will bring the most happiness for you—or make the one that won’t, but will teach you a life-changing lesson. Whatever you decide, we love you and are here supporting you.

Feb 05, 2007, 08:07AM PST | Thread | Respond to this 4 cheers

(This comment was deleted.)

Feb 05, 2007, 08:20AM PST

ardilla actually graduated this fall!

No!

Close, but no cigar ;)

Feb 05, 2007, 08:22AM PST | Thread | Respond to this

(This comment was deleted.)

Feb 05, 2007, 08:25AM PST

ardilla actually graduated this fall!

Oh good for you!

Keep up the good work :)

Feb 05, 2007, 08:28AM PST | Respond to this

ardilla actually graduated this fall!

PS

Of course, me being the silly human that I am, I didn’t find this was what the Universe was trying to tell me until after the fact.

I will say that sex at this point is amazing, but it’ll only hurt more later

OK I’ll shut up now.

Feb 05, 2007, 08:26AM PST | Thread | Respond to this

pask

I had

sex at this point. It was incredibly good, and incredibly painful, at the very same moment.

That was one year ago. I should have, then, listened to all the voices (much of them here on 43…) that told me not to see him. But, even if it destroyed me at first to see him again, I really believe I have been right to do so. It really helped me moving forward, to go back and see who he really is.

That was one year ago, so I really don’t know what it would be like, now. As Faith said, it may as weel help healing further, or re-open the wounds.

I shall trust the Universe, and try to listen to my guts.

thanks for this 2000th cheer, Aardila, and to all of you. it’s good to know you’re here

Feb 05, 2007, 11:49AM PST | Thread | Respond to this 3 cheers

ardilla actually graduated this fall!

:)

“and to all of you”

What beautiful words. Thank You.

Feb 05, 2007, 06:37PM PST | Thread | Respond to this

pask

I just understood the double (triple ?) meaning of “and to all of you”. I’m meaning each and every meaning !

Feb 05, 2007, 11:04PM PST | Respond to this

(This comment was deleted.)

Feb 05, 2007, 08:27AM PST

pask

I'm

quite fine. What will happen, will happen. I’m trusting myself, and the Universe.

Feb 05, 2007, 11:50AM PST | Respond to this 2 cheers

pask

The Universe

might believe I should not make any phone call… My cell phone is almost out of order, I have to change the sim card, and there wasn’t any more of them in the shop I went to…

thank you, Universe

Feb 07, 2007, 01:01PM PST | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

(This comment was deleted.)

Feb 07, 2007, 01:20PM PST

pask

The Universe (part 2)

decided we shouldn’t meet, today, among 2000 other people.

Let’s let her decide wether it should happen tomorrow, or not. Let’s not force the decision.

Feb 08, 2007, 12:23PM PST | Thread | Respond to this

ardilla actually graduated this fall!

Hmmm

that’s 2 out of 2.

Shhh, I think It’s trying to tell us something…

Feb 08, 2007, 06:31PM PST | Thread | Respond to this

pask

Tsss, Aardila,

do not try to hide being her, I’m seing you !

Feb 08, 2007, 08:21PM PST | Thread | Respond to this

ardilla actually graduated this fall!

Wha?

Did you just call me a transvestite? :p

I’m not pretending to be her/him/it—I wouldn’t dare. Just stating the facts :)

Feb 08, 2007, 09:49PM PST | Thread | Respond to this

pask

We'll know about that

this afternoon…

Feb 08, 2007, 11:55PM PST | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

something tells me... - JP thinks she should have gone to the party in Milan

pask

Much ado

about nothing.

But, I went through the fear of seing him again. It was worth it.

Feb 09, 2007, 05:43AM PST | Respond to this 3 cheers


pask has gotten 4 cheers on this entry.

 

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