it was a watershed in my life when I realized that my life was very unhappy, back in 1986, and began making new choices. (As Moms Mabley said, if you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.)

A friend said something to me then that has stood me in good stead ever since. I had always made “safe” choices, too, and was sick of the results. The friend pointed out that I could make any choice I wanted, as long as I was willing to live with the consequences of my actions.

That idea hit me like a gunshot; I had always made my choices based on what I thought I “had” to do. When I realized that I could do any crazy thing as long as I was willing to live with what I’d done, it changed my worldview considerably.

I’ve taken a lot of chances since then, made a lot of choices that perhaps others would not have made, but I’ve had one heck of an interesting life. And hey, I’m only 50. ;-)

Good luck with all your choices.

The terrifying path ahead will be sure to reward you with the understanding that at least your choices are your own.

Adar makes a great point and I hope that you can live with the consequences of your actions.

You remain as responsible for your marriage situation as your wife and more so for the way you handled your career. You are still responsible for every move you make only now you have only yourself to answer to. I’m sure it’s very liberating for a person that feels they didn’t take many chances throughout life and really live. I hope your wife feels as happy and upbeat as you are about “walking away”.

Best of luck to you.

I think what you are doing is great. So many times people like you and myself for instance put others ahead of our own happiness/well being. I am glad you are on the road to a happier life. Sure there will be ups and downs but at least you know what isn’t making you happy, now all you have to do is figure out what does. You are very brave and I wish you the best!! I wish I had half the nerve you do but I am working on this too. Good Luck!!

I genuinely enjoyed reading your entry. It was from the heart and proved very insightful and wise. It hit me because I’m at a point in my life where there are multiple paths to take. Some of the paths I wish to venture on I find difficult to take action because important people in my life want me to do things they believe is “in my best interest,” my parents especially. There’s always that perennial struggle between wondering if I should take a risk to try to see what happens, good or bad, or simply be safe and always wondering “what if?” because I based all my decisisons off others.

A lot of what you mentioned are things I fear will happen to me if I don’t stick to my terms, my wants, and aspirations. I just came to a realization that the things I fear aren’t just a figment of my imgaination, they happen to many people and I should not allow myself to be too influential. I acknowledge their intentions are good but that’s where I need to evaluate whether it is beneficial for me as a whole.

So I thank you for sharing your experiences/wisdom. I wish you all the best in your new life!