i’m completely powerless over food, too.
want to see that list?
1) 6 donuts in under 15 minutes
2) felt fat, but ate wendy’s daily (burger, fries, iced cap, donut)
3) ate half a pint of ben and jerrys then threw it up
4) ate 4 chocolate chip cookies then threw THAT up
5) ate frosted mini wheats then threw it up (in 7th grade. i heard about it and a lot of girls did it. so i tried it. that was the first time)
6) passed out in ‘04 from taking too many hydroxycut
7) gained 10 pounds in under a month
8) my happiness depends on how i look, feel, how much i weigh
9) once i start eating certain foods, i can’t stop. when i do, i usually throw it up
10) i bitch about not having money for good/healthy food but when i get it, i don’t eat it.
11) i work out but still eat shit
12) my whole self worth is dependent on my weight
13) for some reason, i think “this time it will be different” or “this time i won’t gain weight”
14) i watch myself, almost in slow motion eating bad things, then try to calculate if i still have time to throw it up.
15) i validate every thought i have about food and my weight and exercising
16) I have eaten entire batches of cookies, muffins, etc myself in one day
17) i keep eating long after i’m full
18) i won’t eat all day until i get to the point that i’m dizzy, my heart starts beating funny, etc. so i HAVE to eat
19) i expect results overnight, then say “fuckit” when i don’t get them.
20) no matter how much i eat or when or where, i never get the result that i expect to when i start consuming. (love, attention, respect, weightloss?)