My life is in the dumpster. No, really it is. I mean, it could be a whole lot worse and it’s not hell on Earth, but it’s not worth much as is.

you really helped me so maybe I can do the same thing for you…

Let’s see, where shall I begin, friends? Should I start with school, relationships, debts, fitness, career, or what?

start at the worst thing you can’t stand and maybe I can help. (or the people on 43 things) and help.

I’m a chronic screw up and a chronic procrastinator.

yes, I do this too.

My life has passed me by. While some things are better than they used to be, other things have gotten progressively worse.

which things have gotten worse and why is this?

In some ways, I think other points in my life were worse, but in other ways, I feel like I’ve hit an all time low. I seriously want to die sometimes. I feel selfish and bad for saying it, but part of me does.

don’t die, please I would miss you terribly much. I can’t imagine what is so terrible in your life, I look at mine and think some of the same things. However, you have given me great courage to keep striving forward, by winning over my depression, anxiety, panic attacks, ADD, it’s not perfect some days but some days are better than others.

It’s just you need to express what is really so bad that you want to change in your life. You can do it, I have faith you can. Don’t feel selfish about this, it’s good to vent and express your thoughts. I wish I had a couple of weeks ago, maybe I would have felt better. I hope you write back real soon and maybe we can talk things through. Hope you feel better.

((((((((((((super hugs)))))))))

Love,

George :)

You say you run people off but maybe they’re partially responsible too. every relationship’s a two way street so it can’t be all your fault. I’ve fucked up a lot of relationships myself, but in thrity one years I’ve acumulated five people who won’t let me down. These people have all seen my worst in one way or another. they’re still here, two in other cities, one in another country but a 3am toll call gets an answer from at least one of them. I push every one I met away, then get lonely. I don’t how you run people off but sooner you’re going to find people who’re immune to this, see through it do what they have to so you stay friends.
Just keep on keeping on and good luck with your guy, the early part is important in any relationship for setting up who you are. And next time sucide crosses your mind read this, it’s saved me more than once from a hollow pointed antidepressent.

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on that sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas