Well, believe it or not (you probably won’t), I’ve wanted a nipple piercing ever since I was about 8 or so. I’ve always loved piercings, but my mother is extremely conservative, so I felt that I had to get something “hideable”. So my first mod was a tattoo on my leg – easily covered by my boxers. But that wasn’t enough to satisfy me, and four months later, I found myself seriously considering the idea of getting a nipple piercing.

I’m an impulsive person, but I have to psyche myself up for this sort of thing first. Thus, when I found that my commute to work led me past a body piercer/hairdresser every day, I contented myself with looking in the windows… until one day, on the train back from Waterloo, I found that I couldn’t get it out of my head. I started getting the sick, nervous feeling in my stomach that I get when I’m about to make a big decision, and I knew that, like it or not, my nipple was going to be pierced.

So, I made the 2 minute walk from Isleworth station to the hairdressers where they did the piercing. Nervously, I asked who the piercer was, and an Indian lady, who introduced herself as Rachida, said that she was. I said I was considering getting my nipple pierced, could she do it, could I see the studio, and most importantly… would my mum notice the feel through my T-shirt when I hugged her?? (I was going back to visit her that weekend).

The answers were all positive, and I was fast running out of options. More through momentum rather than any real conscious thought, I found myself lying topless on the tissue-paper covered couch, with my left side facing the door.

Rachida cleaned her hands thoroughly, then showed me a tray of jewellery. I picked an electric blue bar… and we were on.

I honestly can’t remember all that much about what came next. I can remember her clamping the nipple, and after about 5 seconds, the immense pain hitting me. I remember saying “I don’t think I can take much more of this, are you going to do it soon?” I don’t remember her response, but a second later, she had pushed the needle through. I yelled “SHIT!”, but in truth it wasn’t much more pain than the clamp – it was dealable-with.

After she’d fitted the jewellery and I’d had a glass of water to calm myself down, she taped a cotton wool ball over it and told me to leave it in place for 2 hours, in case of any bleeding. Then she gave me a pot of tea-tree oil, a natural antiseptic, and told me to clean the bar twice a day for 6 weeks – then to move to Savlon Dry antiseptic for a further 6. The tea-tree was a genius idea, and I would reccomend it over synthetic antiseptics to anybody – it cleans whilst drying the wound, and it smells nice too!

The endorphin rush by this point was reaching epic proportions. I pretty much floated home through the dingy October drizzle on a cloud of warm sunshine, all the while thinking to myself “I have my nipple pierced! I have my nipple pierced!”

So, after that essay, I suppose you want the epilogue. I managed to lose one of the balls to the barbell within the first week, which involved me spending a day at work with a plaster over a lopsided barbell, and Rachida had to fit a new one – this didn’t hurt nearly as much as you might think! The piercing healed 80% within 3 months, but it’s still only at 90%, and I don’t ever leave it for more than an hour without jewellery in – it closes up pretty quickly. Oh, and it got infected once, but twice-a-day saltwater soaks and tea-tree oil made short work of that one. It was my own fault for being careless with touching it.

I love the feel of the piercing, and my only problem is that I now want more. I’ve been told by my other half that I’m not allowed the other one pierced, as “guys don’t get both pierced” (apparently). I can’t get a facial piercing for the reasons already outlined. So what’s left – apart from maybe a vertical bar in the same nipple? Watch this space.