Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed looking at a list like the one I have under this goal, or going through it in my head. There seems so much to do and I just don’t like the idea of doing it individually, but tonight I feel more energized mentally. Suddenly, doing all of this stuff, even at once doesn’t seem so overwhelming. Well, some of it is frightening and overwhelming in and of itself, but most of it does not seem so right now.

The main thing that makes me nervous is the thought of going back to college. I feel so stupid lately. Plus, on top of that, I dread going back to the school I know I need to. I have to talk to people to gain permission to go back to this school due to past problems and confrontation always makes me so nervous. Also, there are other things about going back to this particular college makes me nervous on top of me just feeling increasingly stupid, anyway.

I feel energized tonight, but it’s a nervous energy and since it’s night time, it’s just going to be wasted. Most of the things I need to do have to be done during the normal waking hours of most folk. I am afraid my energy will dissipate by the morning, but I don’t want to go to bed. I’m wired mentally, though not physically. I want to stay wired. I want to get even more wired. I need this energy to drive me, but I rarely have it. What will give me more energy?