I lived in a single-parent household for a long time, and I’m still far from feeling like an accomplished adult.

I didn’t date in high school, so what am I supposed to do now? I’m still playing catch-up with imaginary people, the shadows of former-selves, who even at that time must not have had a thought for me.

Would wealth make up for that kind of loneliness? I doubt it. In fact, I have an apprehension that I will feel guilty having freedom, when I know there are others suffering the way I did.

Success in this world becomes palliative rather than affirmative, yet I feel that my thoughts are largely still geared towards finding the experience in which I know I am myself, which I feel is a carefree sort of existence without anxieties, in which my own values are clearly appreciated, entailing a market for my talents and a company of wonderful future-oriented equals.

Lynnora-Jean, thank you for the reply. I actually keep expecting that someone will be offended that my repressed jerk side is finally coming out. But then I remind myself that there actually isn’t anything wrong with being happy.