It has been six weeks since I first expressed my indignation of being a ‘reluctantly caged captive’ and agonised over my debilitated state of being unable to run. Entrapment, I have come to realise, in both its physical and emotional elements, possesses the mystical power of stifling a spirit. We were never made to be captives, to have our free will, instincts and natural independence suppressed or taken from us. Lions, when forced into captivity often die in a short space of time, not from brutality of treatment or forced starvation but the resignation of their will to live in a captive environment. Their natural instincts which have ensured their survival for so many years are suddenly betrayed by an un-natural state. An innate freedom which has never been questioned is suddenly replaced by an imprisonment that can never be fully understood. Thus the animal, in confused despair loses its spirit and will to live and with no further medical explanation, breaths its last breath in tormented captivity.

Humans are not so different from animals. We are driven by natural instincts, by unquestioned prerogatives and modes of behaviour and it is not until our freedom is threatened that we truly understand and appreciate the state of being free. I never saw running as a freedom, I saw it as a given reality – a surety, a choice which would always be waiting for ready acceptance. Such an illusion, I soon found, was not sustainable and so for six weeks I have felt the deprivation of that very freedom. I have been confined against my will and controlled against my spirit of resistance, I have been tamed to idleness and restless agitation and harnessed from independence and deployment, I have indeed been a very reluctantly caged captive.

Hope is being redeemed however in the one-by-one removal of iron bars, the slow progression and redemption of freedom. I have been granted permission to return to a walking routine of 3 days per week. The length of my exercise is not to exceed 25 minutes and is to consist of 20 minutes walking | 5 minutes running. It is difficult to abide by such limitations when one knows they are capable of so much more, to run for 1 minute at a time when we have instinctively determined so many times before to push ourselves, to try harder, to keep going against all odds, to never give up. Yet counteracting this rebellious thought is the learned reality that should we ignore wisdom, we may forfeit all freedom completely.