food. see… i try to eat food that has been accompanied by good experiences (donuts from a sunday morning i spent with my mom… starbucks from spending time with a long term b/f… coffeehouse goods from therapy)
instead of enjoying the moments i’m in, i try to re-create the old by eating the food… so i don’t have to experience the fear and rejection of the present. its all about fear, here.
instead of walking the normal route to the library (which seems like 10 miles of icky-ness) i choose a new route. granted, it was only a block different then normal, but that block allowed me to literally walk through the fear of taking a new route.
damn. growing up by yourself sucks. i’m glad i have a sponsor and faith in a higher power. and a therapist. otherwise i’d still be drinking to get rid of the fear of living.

~me