I learned something since I first wrote about this. I have worked hard these past 4 months trying to see from others’ points of view, and be considerate of others. I think it’s been good for me to do that, and I’ve noticed that listening and being aware is helping me to understand other people’s needs better.

I learned something that I didn’t expect during these months, too: that I was not being treated the way I was trying to treat others. I suddenly realized that two girls who I thought were my friends hadn’t invited me to any of their outings, or even just casual get-togethers at our house (it’s like a large dorm but in a house setting), even after I had invited them both to several social outings and dinners.

One of them in particular, however, was quick to be offended when I failed to invite her properly (I think she expected a formal invitation rather than the casual one I had extended) one time. And she held onto every offense I committed, small and large (there was one in the large category, I admit), and never gave me the benefit of the doubt, even when I apologized and tried to make up for it.

About 2 weeks ago, when that same one blew up at me publicly, something inside me finally told me that I didn’t need or want those kind of friends. I’m worth better than being treated like that.

So when they left for home, I treated them to ice cream, gave them both cards, and saw them off…knowing that I will not stay in touch with them, and will probably never see either of them again. And the best part is, I’m okay with that for the first time in my life.

I’m ready to treat myself better, and expect better treatment from people. I can’t wait to start making friends with people who will care about me enough to reach into my life, too.

Maybe by being a better friend to myself, I can start not only improving how I deal with others, but maybe also drawing people to me that will be good friends too.