I have a bad habit of staying in bad/unsatisifying situations because change-even if it is a positive change, long-term-scares the heck of me. In fact, I actively avoid it. I will not change my situation unless it is MORE uncomfortable for me NOT to do so. The devil you know, and all that. This is why I’ve been in the same city for fourteen years instead of the four or five I’d planned on. This is also why I hung onto my last teaching job even though it was toxic for me in almost every way. It is also why I stayed in a relationship that I knew would never get to the next level; it was easier than being alone or looking for someone else.

This is embarrassing but true. As a good friend says, “At least you know this about yourself.”

Recently I received a kick in the ass in the form of a negative event which I can’t describe here. On the bright side, it made me realize that I wasn’t doing a damn thing to advance important goals and improve my life… because I was scared of change.

I’m not 100% cured but I realize that I need to get things in order and that its now or never for several important life steps, including where I live.

It’s kind of sad that I needed this kick to get started, but at least I’ve got some momentum now.