you can’t stop the comparisons, but you can stop beating yourself up about what you see as your lacks by comparison.

At least that’s what this was about for me. As my self-esteem improved, the comparisons were less important, less negative, and became a side note rather than a major source of anxiety!

A few things that helped me: all of us are afraid of what others think of us. All of us are scared of each other. All of us are insecure. All of us are flawed, just in different ways. The woman whose clothes are stunning and is gorgeous frequently thinks she’s ugly….

Describe yourself on paper as if you were writing about a friend, and not yourself. If you’re like me, you’re a lot likeable that way than you let yourself see yourself…Are you generous, warm, giving? Are you a caring soul? Are you engaged in work to help others? Are you smart, talented, pretty? Pay attention to what others say that’s GOOD as well as what they say that’s bad. Again, if you’re like me, you discount everything you do easily or someone else says that’s positive. Learning to give credit for the positives is actually harder (for me) than letting go of the negatives.

I hope this helps!
jkd

But you might try the “friend” thing, it worked, or at least it does for me. I’ve found that the difference is usually just spin, not that it changes anything.

I had to be open to seeing myself as worthwhile, and for many years I wasn’t. I (although I didn’t admit it) had a lot of reasons that I wanted to stay “sick.” And, until I admitted those, the rest of it was just lip service. I couldn’t see another perspective, because I wouldn’t let myself.

Sad, but true!

I hope your journey is much shorter than mine was.

Blessings.

jkd