I think I’m losing my mind and my husband can’t disagree more. I’m 24 weeks pregnant with our second child and it seems that whenever I’m pregnant I develop this unbelievable jealousy that rages like madness but for some stupid reason, it’s always about his ex-lovers. Our son is only 11 months old now so you can imagine it feels like this is all non-stop.

I’m married to a saint because he is so patient with me. I can’t help it though. I lash out at him and become quite hostile when I think about the past that has nothing to do me. He keeps saying, “What does it matter if it all happened before I even met you?” We get into an argument and then we make up but it inevitably happens again, sometimes the next day.

In my defense, I know of one girl that he slept with even after he met me but he thought I would never go out with him, let alone marry him. He told me that she was being very aggressive with him and he didn’t think he had anything to lose. He thought I was way out of his league so he met this girl at a party and went home with her and then went out with her again the very next day, went to a movie…blah, blah, blah..and the rest of the story you can guess.

I finally fessed up and told him that I had feelings for him and he was floored. We’ve never been apart since, that was almost 6 years ago. We’ve been married for almost 4 years. He told me that when he was with her, he couldn’t stop thinking of me every second he was with her, and I mean EVERY second. Apparently, she is the complete opposite of me. First of all she’s blond and fair and I have long black hair and Cafe au Lait skin.

Anyway, long way back to my point. I wish I could stop thinking of him with these other girls. I know he’d never cheat on me and he’d never jeopardize our family and our marriage, so why do I keep dwelling obsessing about women I don’t even know, hell, I don’t even know what they look like! I met one girl once but she was a total b*tch to me. So, that should tell me something right? What I don’t know.

Sorry for such a long post. I just don’t know how to make my jealousy stop. Some days are better than others though…