I think that the biggest tool for having a big party is a track record. Most people don’t have a track record before starting (duh!) So I’m going to list what I did the first time I broke the 30 mark back in 2002. If your first one is successful, people will come back. So on to the list!
1. THE MAGIC NUMBER
This is where most people mess up. If you invite 30 people, you’re not going to get 30 people—I guarantee it. There is safety in numbers; if you want to have 30 or more show up I suggest ASK NO LESS THAN 50 PEOPLE TO COME. I personally bump that up to 60 as I assume half won’t show.
The other upside to this is buzz. If someone asks two other people, “did you hear about Lefty’s party this weekend?” and two people both say yes, SCORE! The party is officially something worth considering. So invite everyone, even people who aren’t your buddies. Everyone except your enemies should be invited.
2. INVITES
Clubs do it, organizations do it. If you want a rack of people to come and trash your crib you need to do it too. It shows to people that you’ve been doing some planning, and thoughtful hosts make good parties (actually lots of people make good parties, but most people don’t realize that). So be a little creative…even if it’s a graphical email to save paper—it beats just text. This is why there are marketing and promotion people.
Timing is key with this one, more than 2 weeks and you may look like an overzealous dork; less than a week and they could have plans already. I sugesst the 10-14 day window as the prime time to drop the invites, with a gentle reminder (email ok!) about 5 days before.
note I generally avoid the online invite applications because the ones I’ve seen show who (or how many) have said yes or no. This can work against you since someone who sees few have confirmed is less likely to make it a priority. But it’s up to you.
3. TIME IS ON YOUR SIDE
....if you pick the right time. Most parties are on the weekend, but you’ve got schedules to contend with—so be considerate. A good evening party starts at 8pm; a rowdy cop-caller may not open doors till 10. Saturday and Sunday parties work best after noon, but remember that these are sports/errand days.
I generally don’t put a end time on my events because I want them to move naturally. If you do put a cap on it, be lenient. You’re trying to be the gracious host, remember? drink a coffee and remember this is what you wanted. =o]
4.OPEN YOUR WALLET
It’s your first big party, you’ve got a lot riding on it if you ever want to do this again. So skip over the pretzels and Doritos and do the thing right. Unless, of course, you wanted a fratboy kegger….
My party was for my 23rd birthday (possibly the best year of my life) and I dropped about $300 on catered food alone. My own damn birthday, My own damn house, but it was worth it because it floored the guests and I didn’t have to be chained to the kitchen (which I’ll get to later).
Plus, a well-placed slip that the party is being catered causes a nice buzz—and there’s not such thing as bad publicity, right?
5. TAKE A CHILL PILL
This is the hardest thing. You set your party at 8:00 and at 8:05 no one’s there. DO NOT FLIP OUT. I always flip out about 15 minutes before but when the time comes CHILL THE FREAK OUT. You’ve done your best, it’s all up to fate now. Nobody wants to hang out with a needy host, and no host wants to be like the hostess on 200 Cigarettes.
Two things can happen at this point. If you are hosting to some really dorky people, you blew it. They all would’ve been there early, so. Otherwise, what will happen is that people will show up in about 15 minutes or so. No one likes to be the first one at the party…..it’s awkward. So just relax and know that someone’s on their way. Then when someone shows, don’t look frantic, just invite them in and act like you would if the party was rocking. They’ll help get the mood in the groove and by the time the 5th person shows, you’re A-ok.
note A way to circumvent the anxiety is to maybe have a pre-event—like inviting a few people to go out to eat before and then they all come over for the party directly. This takes extra planning though, because they should not become “the help.”
OK that’s the top 5. Here are some others that will help you retain your new title of great party-starter:
*Edit your guest list so you can introduce people with things in common.
*Spend time entertaining, not time cooking and cleaning. Save cleanup for after the last guest (or tomorrow).
*Invite your neighbors. That way they can’t “hear the noise all the way from their place.”
*See everyone in, and everyone to the door. Everyone will feel special.
*Skip theme parties; they’re soooo last week. Instead, invite people to bring something interesting to share with any/everyone, and see what happens.
A party is like a pet, you’ve got to give it some play while holding the leash. The last party I had was possibly my Tour de Force, with about 60 people showing up and staying above 30 for over 8 hours. My neighbors weren’t impressed for some reason. Oh well, it was my farewell party and now that I’m in Korea they won’t have to worry anymore.
If you’re in Korea and need some social lubricant for your party, let me know. =o]
