Part of me wants to get married to someone from the same country and region as me and buy a house and have kids with them because that is what I always assumed would happen to me. Whilst another part of me wants to go and live a different life abroad and ‘start afresh’. The main appeal in the latter choice is the possibility that I will be so occupied with facing new challenges so much that I would be able to put the past behind me. I feel that I am letting my past hold me back from living my life to the fullest. The main turn off with the former choice is the fear that I will bring children into this world and then disrupt their lives if the marriage is unsuccessful.

I think i might ‘road test’ a life abroad by taking ‘a gap year’ and seeing if life in that country is really for me. If it doesn’t work out I can always come back and settle for tradition and routine.

wish me luck!