I’m the person that lsiten and helps you, the person that helps push you through your problems while never revealing much about himself. Even the things that do come out are amazingly small. Not one of my real-life friends knows my parents are divorced for one.

There are perhaps a few people who I do let in, and even then, it’s a struggle for them to get me to talk. That’s bullshit. If they want to help I need to let them. You can only be helped as much as you want to, and I never did want to. I just pushed them back the more they wanted to help, and now I understand how that felt, because everytime I try something, it blows up in my face and gets shoved farther away from my grasp… So far I can barely even see it anymore…

I’m going to start talking more, letting people know when I’m upset, or happy, instead of just keeping that damned fake smile up all the time. The walls are coming down, one by one. And only I can do that, nobody else. So I’m going to, and I’m going to fill those walls full of everything that they once held out.