It scares the crap out of me.

As I was driving to work today, and you know the best way to combat the time caught in a monstrous traffic jam is to think, think and think. The thoughts just wiggles its way into your subconsciousness – when your brain is idle.

I am scared, petrified actually.

OF WHAT?

That I am turning into a christian that I don’t like…. a nominal christian.

Ever since moving houses, I left the CG that I was attending and have not been attached to any other. Apart from that, I don’t really go to church on Sundays anymore, except for when I am back at my gran’s. The guilt is eating at me.

I know using work and the ensuing lethargy is merely an excuse to sleep in, on Sunday to make up for lost time. This situation that I am in now, is worrying.

I’m a youth leader for crying out loud. It’s like I know what I have to do, but actually doing it is a totally different ball game.

SighHhhh….

I need to be more disciplined and find my first love again. If only it is easier done than said.