Helps them to know how the person on the end of their woe is me love life rant feels. I wrote this because everyone I know dumps their shit on me and whines about what aren’t they doing right, why can’t i get a guy, what’s so wrong with me, i need to be more blank to be attractive/happier/in love/successful…whatever. I also agree that change is important but I think you need to first be yourself. Most people don’t know who thereself is and therefor follow blindly with the ‘how the world should be’ ideals and never stop to think that maybe there is something out there for them.
I have 6 weeks a few years ago where I was so depressed I couldn’t even get out of bed. My job sucked and I did everything I could to make it better. I thought I was lonely because I believed I should be in a relationship. and on and on and on. The bottom line is 6 weeks of meds from the doc didn’t make me feeel better. It was 6 weeks of inner reflection that made me realise that the things i thought I wanted weren’t actually the what I wanted for myself. I was depressed because I couldn’t live up to what society was dictating I should be.
So I stopped buying into other peoples ideas and figured out who I was and who I wanted to be. Most people think I am a cold hearted bitch because the number 1 things are I do not want my own kids and I do no want to be in a relationship.
That doesn’t make me selfish, I give to others in other ways, I don’t need to give ME to be a caring and giving person.
I also concluded that if I don’t like something about me or what I am going through nothing will change it but me.
So that means if I don’t like my job it’s up to me to move on. If want a relationship it’s up to me to find one. Nothingnis going to fall in my lap.
I totally despise people who whine and moan about how sucky life is when it’s all totally within their grasp to change it. No one s holding a gun to your head, no one is forcing you. No matter what you don’t like you absolutely CAN change it. If money is an issue I assure you there are funds out there that you can get your hands on. You just have to know what you want and be willing to make the necessary changes to take the steps towards achieving your goal.
At this point I need to remember what this goal was about hehe..
“Help people to understand that they do not NEED a romantic relationship to have a happy and successful life AND that they should LOVE themselves NOT CHANGE themselves”
I still stand by the first part of that. Many people think they are unhappy because they aren’t in a relationship or because they are in one that isn’t going their way. I always ask my girlfriends if they are happier when it’s just them or when they are with a guy and after they think about it they agree that they are happier when it is just themselves. Many of the problems we perceive in our lives stem from personal relationships (romantic or otherwise). You make your own drama, make sure it’s what you want and need.
The second part I also still stand by but maybe I should clarify. I think change is important. You have to change to be who you WANT to be. I don’t think however that you should change to be who someone else thinks you should be. IE lose weight to attract a man (not to be healty or other gains for you). IE haircolor, IE my boyfriend doesn’t like that i snort when I laugh…..stupid things like that. Over time you lose the person you are and you actually have to stop and wonder exactly who you are and what your likes and dislikes are.
Ya know?
I seriously am ok with who I am. Some might think I selfish but at least I am happy and can live with myself. How many others who are striving to be something else can truly say the same?
