Yahhooo! They are both paid off, cut up and thrown away! I finally managed to get statements and had a loan approved from my bank to clear both of them. They are both now cancelled, and finished and no more. Finito! Fine!
The amount I owe my bank now is a bit scary, but at least it’s manageable interest, it’s set with regular payments coming directly out of my wage, and it’s with my bank who I love and not 2 evil credit card companies.

I HAVE NOW LEARNED MY LESSON: NO CREDIT CARDS POUR MOI!

It feels so good, so good :-)