i really want someone special, someone i could have a deep relationship with, but for some strange reason my subconscious keeps me from making the steps. i feel ashamed if i have feelings for someone. do you ever feel it just wouldn’t be the right time for a relationship? would a relationship help or provide a mask for insecurity? it’s like i watch love movies and long to have what they have, but somehow i feel i don’t deserve it. it’s just so scary trusting someone else with your heart. i don’t know what to do.