I’m having trouble with this goal already. I can’t stop comparing myself to others, and then being jealous of them. Especially with this one girl I do not like at all. I have terrible dreams about hurting her, and I am always checking on her progress and hoping she fails. This is so un-Christian. I know the devil is trying to get me down, but it is so difficult to do the right thing when you want to be better than this person all the time. I feel like life is a contest. I found this one person that I think has so many faults, and I am using them as an outlet to make me feel better about myself. This is very difficult to admit publicly, b/c this is wicked, and makes me very ashamed. I need to work to want to not be so hateful, angry, and jealous. I should never wish others misfortune. It is so bad for my karma, too. I can try to not want to do this. I can start with that.