I have insurance now and I finally made an appointment with a new GI doctor. I found him on the internet under a listing of doctors that support this crazy diet that I’m on. I’m still scared of doctors because of what I went through… but I suppose anyone is better than that dirtbag doctor that I was seeing. I was only seeing him because of certain connections through family. Its really complicated…. but anyay, a doctor should be someone that I trust [with my life] and that old doctor isn’t that kind of person. He was filling me up with prescription drugs without even being concerned about finding a cure. Its always been, “oh, drug A doesn’t work anymore huh? Let’s put you on drug B. And if that doesn’t work, we’ll try drug C… but in a higher dosage. Heck, let’s just surgically remove the whole thing. You can’t have a bad gut if it isn’t there anymore.” I’m still on tons of medication and my liver is probably useless now.

But you know how I survived? I stopped taking everyone else’s advice. Those doctors won’t admit that what they told me to do was hurting me. I believed them because they are doctors, but my body was telling me that everything was wrong. Its been two years since that time I spent in the hospital. My weight is normal and my hair stopped falling out. The aches and pains has pretty much stopped.

I’m trying to be optimistic about this change, but I can honestly tell you that I’m really scared. I’m trying to convince myself that this new doctor will tell me that a miracle has happened and I am cured! I still don’t feel 100% but that will come in time.

I’ll get through this. I just can’t let myself get depressed.