This isn’t working out. Birds were chirping outside my window, and I find that to be incredibly annoying. So I got really worked up because they wouldn’t stop and my window got stuck. I was so upset. I started crying hard. Not like I normally do, I’m a quiet cryer; this cry was more like wailing. Maybe my goal should not be “stop crying so much” and instead be “stop being crazy”. Some noises just completely annoy me and I can’t block them out and I just get so upset if I can’t stop them. These noises are the only things that can make me violent. Words can’t hurt me, no matter what anyone says, I can deal with it, but chirp, or snore, or chew with your mouth open, and I want you dead.
I also cried yesterday when my mom was very cross with me just after I had woken up for no reason. I just went to my room, and quietly cried. And the tears felt really god then, and the hands that I laid them on felt smooth, not coarse like the fabric I laid my head on when I was upset today. It was a different kind of crying. I think I probably could have stopped if I had wanted to, but I didn’t, and I felt stupid for it; today, nothing could have stopped my tears. It’s really a nuisance.