have you considered seeing a therapist? it can really do wonders. being able to talk to someone and hear new suggestions for coping skills can be super helpful.

there is also medication like beta blockers which a lot of musicians take for stage freight, which you can ask your doc for to take for events which make you stressed.

it sounds like you do have an honest anxiety disorder. “Social Anxiety” is often applied to simple shyness or introversion – but it doesn’t sound like it in your case.

As TheJenny mentioned, beta blockers may help when you know you’re going to be in a situation where your anxiety level will peak. Propranalol/Inderal is an example of a beta blocker. One disadvantage of this approach is that you may have trouble raising your heart rate and blood pressure for exercise while taking them.

SSRI such as Paxil, Lexapro, or Celexa have helped a lot of people with anxiety disorders. These are taken every day. Celexa has fewer side effects than Paxil. Some doctors will prescribe Prozac or Zoloft.

It’s a matter of which one works for you. My doc started me on Zoloft for an anxiety disorder and cautioned me it would take several weeks to kick in. The next day I felt fine! I felt terrific!!! The day after that I was twitching and feeling all tweeked and electrified. That was my last day taking Zoloft.

Lexapro, on the other hand, worked much better for me. I now take Celexa, which works very well and rarely has side effects.

Supplementing with L-tryptophan and 5-HTP helps the SSRIs do their job better by providing building blocks for seratonin.

A third approach is to use benzodiazapines, such as valium. Two approaches are used. One is to give a short acting benzo, such as serax or ativan which is taken only for an episode of anxiety or panic. The other approach is to use a longer acting benzo, such as clonapin to be taken on a daily basis.

Benzos can be addicting and sedating, so I’m not in favor of taking them on a daily basis. I carry ativan with me at all times. Just knowing I have it in my pocket makes it much easier to take a deep breath and led my anxiety go in most cases.

There are some good workbooks for anxiety that help a person modify their automatic thoughts that lead to anxiety.

In general, meditation or progressive relaxation, will help raise one’s threshold for anxiety/panic.

A powerful clue is your mention of “a situation where I have no control.” Learning to coach yourself, to examine alternatives, to find out what control you do have.

One thing I frequently hear is “I don’t have enough time to _” This is a great example of giving up control. Everybody has the same amount of time. It’s not a matter of not having enough time, it’s a matter of choosing to use the time differently. I don’t know if that makes sense, but it returns control to the individual who now has a choice rather than being a victim.

I’m with you on this one. Being in new situations is what does it for me. I have the worst time making phone calls and talking on the phone.