Thanks, melb, I love this idea, and i’ll definitely try it—jumpstarting joy! The mere fact that we are alive is a pretty amazing thing. There was a doctor who once told me that each day is a gift. As for the risk taking, I agree with you, that knowing one’s self provides the base, the cliff as it were, from which to make that leap. I love that I am getting to know myself more and more as I age, and as I journey back to my creative core. I feel that I am sometimes surprised at what I find, at what I am capable of, which can be a great feeling. I have also found that one surefire way to lose one’s self is to live for others rather than for yourself, so I have to be mindful of that, too.

Great musings for a Tuesday afternoon in Japan (or a Monday morning in New England). Thanks for your insights.

MELB, your observation is quite valid, and has been documented in the scientific press. I caught wind of it in Malcom Gladwell’s book Blink.

You are right, Dave, in that we CAN remove it, we have that ultimate ability, but ask anyone who has been truly hurt in life, moving on is not like removing a bandage. The optimist in me wishes it were, in that the skin beneath would heal, and when the time is right, the bandage could be peeled away, revealing new tissue beneath. For some, in fact, this is possible. Certainly not easy, but possible. But for those who are less self-aware, less adept at self-healing, the hurt becomes part of them, and to remove it can be like removing a part of themselves. Not to go too far with this, but perhaps it’s a little more like a (voluntary or involuntary) tattoo, wherein the ink is not part of the body but imbedded in it, and removal involves something more than the peeling off of an outer layer.

I think it is, at times, possible to choose how life’s adversity affects us, to choose its context and ultimate effect. Certainly not all the time, mind you. But I do know people who get hurt more often than others, not because of their openness but because of their outlook. And they hold the pain within them until it becomes part of who they are.

Perhaps the key is to keep our wounds from forming that scar tissue, stitch and dress them properly from the onset, be prepared to address them as wounds when they occur, so that they don’t form the heavy, ugly scars.

Thanks for your insight, Dave. You are helping, more than you know.

I think many of us are guilty of caring for others before, or to the exclusion of, ourselves. Women, especially, but we are not the only ones. I hear you on this one, Nikita. Good luck, to both of us!