There was a time in my life when I was extremely paranoid about doctors visits involving my female areas, even with female doctors. I think I managed to make it all the way through my first pregnancy and birth without ever having a male doctor. Then some time during my second labor and delivery I stopped caring. If I’m not mistaken, a male doctor delivered my second child. (I can’t believe I can’t remember!)

It’s a good thing, because it wasn’t too long after that when my cancer was diagnosed, and I would have had to get used to it anyway. In fact, the last time I went in for this particular procedure, I had both a male doctor AND a male nurse! I admit I was uncomfortable, but it wasn’t hellish as it would have been several years earlier.

For a while, I was having this procedure once every three months. That was actually easier on me than now, having it once per year, because it felt more routine then. I felt less dread. And it’s more painful the more tense I am. This will be #17 (while conscious). I know it will be fine (even if they find cancer), but I still wish I didn’t have to go through it.

and when my OB/GYN turned out to be a guy I was a little weirded out by it, but he was soft spoken and nice and had delivered all of my PCP’s children, so I hung in there. As it turned out, he listens well and takes good care of me and last time he even appologised when he was a little late starting my appointment so he could finish up with the pregnant lady in front of me.