I went this morning. A surprisingly helpful woman told me that they had my diploma, but they couldn’t give it to me because they got my name wrong. They’ll print another one and will write when it’s ready.

They want the maiden name on it. Why can’t they print the maiden name?

Actually, it’s no big deal. You always have to come twice when you need something from the college. And they will issue the diploma. They first told me I couldn’t possibly have passed since I wasn’t in the database. “And how do you account for my taking 5th year classes if I failed 4th year?” “Oh right. Wait. Here you are. There was just a problem with your name.”