From dumping a bucket of cold water on my head on a hot day to standing on the low rail of a dock to swimming and diving from a dock, lots of things still scare me. It’s fear unconnected to me, really, but it comes up to make me question and be anxious. How can you get heart palpitations from deciding whether or not to dump a bucket on your head? Jesus Christ.

I travelled alone, I decided alone, and I assess the risk before I do something. But that anxiety still comes up, robbing my breath. WTF? I don’t even understand it. I think I’ve just spent so much time shying away from doing ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING that now I can’t do anything. Christ.