Right now I am tired, angry, still having crazy nightmares about losing my exgirlfriend of 4yrs,.. 2 months on, lonely, frustrated and anxious I wont achieve my goals and be a total loser all my life, but above all, missing a boost from someone I respect. My self esteem has never been this low, It’s crazy. It’s like I finaly let someone in and they exposed all my weaknesses, giving me one hell of a kick up the arse, this started a chain reaction of intense self loathing. I don’t know where to begin picking up the pices or which ones to pick up first. I thought I had so much potential, but I took a massive step back, now I feel like i’m back at the begining. I know I’m supposed to be trying to be happy but it’s not always easy, I know tommorow I’ll prob feel better. I am a really strong person and I have been in similar situations before and It turned out to be really good. I just can’t help feeling I really messed up big time on this one and i’ll never be happy. This sounds really morbid I know but I can’t just turn these feelings off like a tap. I don’t know. I suppose If I write this down at least it’s a reminder of where Iv’e been. Any one got any suggestions, or just a similar experience. No lectures tho please.