I am still no where near my goal! I talked to my boyfriend today and I told him I bought a new fish. The story is, he bought me a fish a year ago and it died, naturally. There was nothing I did or didn’t do that made it die! But I can’t tell if he’s joking or whatever…but he told me things like ‘Why’d you buy another fish? You’re just going to kill this fish too!’ We argued over that for about 10 minutes then I was like,

‘FINE I am a huge big fat failure and I shouldn’t even own another fish, EVER. Actually I shouldn’t even own another animal. I shouldn’t even live anymore. I should just name it dead. Or my owner sucks. Or help me.’

He laughs it off and says ‘Dead is kind of catchy. So is Loren’ which is his dumb way to spell my name (my name is spelt Lauren) which pisses me off. I said ‘Well if we’re going to name if after me, why don’t we name it dumb whore or retard’ He laughs it off again and says ‘Fish are dumb’ I go ‘Perfect animal for me’ He asks why and I say ‘Dumb owner…dumb animal.’

He tells me my self confidence is astounding. Then he said he was going to find a frisbee game around campus and I told him to call me later, end of arguement. I think I pissed him off. More reason to hate myself!!!