So far, this hasn’t worked too well. It’s hard to be someone you’re not. I thought that maybe I was really close to being that other person. But I’m not. I’m just quiet and that’s who I am. I don’t want to talk about your “great” stories or your kids or your dog. I really don’t care. I would really rather just be left alone. I was reminded that getting close to people opens yourself up for being hurt and rejected. I don’t like it.
You know sometimes I feel the same way, it’s weird when I’m with someone I kinda feel like being alone, that I really don’t care about some of the things they’re saying…but when I’m alone I sometimes wish I had closer friends that I could just hang out with and have fun with…it seems that every time I talk to someone I think more on what I need to be doing, instead of enjoying my time with them…I hate to think that I don’t care, but sometimes it just feels that way…
I kinda know what you mean… esp when I’m with someone who is also kinda quiet and shy and then I’m just bored.. and I feel like I’m carrying the whole conversation and they’re barely responding or they talk and I can’t understand what they’re saying because they kind of mumble.. but there is no one else my age at work so it kinda sucks.. it’s like I’d rather go to lunch alone then go with this person.. but then at the same time when I go alone I wish I had someone to go to lunch with.. but someone I had more in common with.
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