I think you are super productive and i dont even know you. But you go out of your way or not to type it and ask for help which is a start. If i were you I would sit down figure out whats important and what really isnt then i would figure out what you want to do in your spare time. Motivation comes from with in I have found out. But also from others but the others are your inspiration, believe you me there are people in your same sitaution, just clam down and remember that if you have a place to live and money coming and that you care for someone and I mean truly care someone else someone will take care of you. Try to remember what you did when you were younger that made you happy, what makes you happy will motivate you to do something in that direction!!