This entry will probably be pretty long but if you read it and give your opinion I will greatly appreciate it. The relationship was great for a while and I could not be any happier with the woman I was with. We were set to go to the same college and we had discussed marriage even. She had promised me that no matter what happens she wanted to go to the same college. Well at the very last moment she broke the promise and decided to go to a college that was thousands of miles away. We decided the long distance was probably do-able but this is where everything went wrong. After several months of the relationship she started threatening to break up with me, she would be extremely mad at me if I didn’t call her and was instead studying in the library, and she started to say extremely hurtful things to me. When we were able to see each other though, we were happy. During sophomore year of college, she started to be extremely mean(say I’m just like all her exes, I hate you, you don’t care about me, I thought about breaking up with you, etc) and excluding a wonderful birthday(she came to visit me) we started to want each other to change and we would fight and make each other cry. During the summer we broke up and I figured that was the end of it so I started to try and make myself better by being more social, and I started to get close to this other girl. We nearly had sex, but I decided it wasn’t a good thing to jump into this relationship like this. Well my ex started calling me alot and I decided that we should really give it another try, and she then found out that I was close to this other girl for a while. She starts to say that I cheated on her and it was completely wrong of me to do that. For the next two months I did everything I could to make her happy(take her to nice restaurants, pick her up from work about every day, leave my work to take her to lunch, go to mexico with her when her father died and comforted her the whole time even though I didn’t know spanish and wasn’t able to do anything really fun, took her on lots of dates, bought her a little puppy, etc), I mean I REALLY tried to show her I love her and I care. The summer ended and we gave each other promise rings to be better to each other. Now we are back in this long distance relationship and in less than a week she is questioning if I love her and if I care about her and she doesnt trust me because I had that small relationship with that other girl while we were separated during the summer, and it just hurts me because I gave up my WHOLE summer just to make her happy and I have even been thinking about sending her flowers every month. Last night we started arguing and she kept talking about what happened months ago(excluding completely how much I’ve done for her for two months) and we ended up hanging up on each other and I havent talked to her since. I just dont know what I should think about our relationship. What do you think?
Comments:
do not design a relationship
Hi,
I could hardly to say who’s right or wrong in that relationship. It seemed that you did your best to keep her happier and she still wants more. I suggest that you should spend more time to think what you really want from her. What does she really need? Are you really happy if you keep this relationship? You could not design a woman who you love or even a relationship.
Good Luck
Trust me, I know women! (I am one!)
Sending flowers and buying gifts isn’t the answer. If you go overboard, she will either think ur feeling guilty about something and question why ur going to so much effort, or she’ll love it so much that once u start to send her less flowers and not buy so many gifts for her she’ll see that as a sign that ur losing interest and dont live her anymore. Ive been in a long distance relationship myself and the biggest and most important thing is trust. Tell her you love her and that you have apologised for getting close to the girl (even tho by the sounds of it u did nothing wrong) and that she either needs to accept it and trust you, or there really is no future. You have made an effort and she’s obviously feeling insecure and is trying to punish you as long as she can for this. Refuse to feel guilty any longer – either she will fear losing you and stop being so clingy and will respect you more for standing up for yourself, or she will end the relationship and in that case it probably wouldn’t have lasted anyway.
Good luck, let me know how it turns out :)
I’ve been in a similar situation. Honestly, the best thing I ever did was break up with him. Sometimes he would do the same things you describe that this girl does. After it ended, I realised a lot of things I was blinded by because of the relationship. I know it’s not an easy thing to do, but you deserve better and trust me, it will happen again.
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