I’m close to giving up on this goal. I’ve got two choices – make finding love a project, or sit and wait, hoping that love finds me. If I make it a project, it takes a lot of time and effort and leaves me feeling even worse. I’d rather not focus on what I want and don’t have.

I have a friend (10 years older than me) who got Glamour Shots photos and used them on her Match.com profile. She is a very attractive woman and she looked gorgeous in the photos. She told me that she received 50 emails in the first week. Now she is dating a man who she is crazy about. Well, I’ve had Glamour Shots, too, and mine didn’t come out so hot. I haven’t received 50 emails after years of off and on Internet dating. So, I’ve come to the conclusion that most men are shallow pigs and judge women by their looks. God, I hate sounding that cynical, but that’s what the evidence seems to indicate.

I’m in a crappy mood today because I hate my new haircut and everything else has gone wrong, too. Maybe later I’ll feel different. But, right now, I think I’ll just enjoy my life and be pleasantly surprised if an eligible man appears and shows interest in me.