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Kim N tripped over the fiscal cliff

Name my favorite goal that's not mine
My favorite goal that's not mine is ...

Have date nights with my husband/wife/spouse

In my daydreams of my great marriage, this would be a goal on my list. We would both have interests outside of our relationship, so we would schedule time to spend together. I’m an extreme introvert, so spending lots of time together would wear me out. I’ve been in relationships where the guy wanted to spend all of his free time with me. We’d end up in that loop: “What do you want to do now?” “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” “I don’t know.” Kill me now!!

So in my daydreams, I imagine he’s out in the garage working on some project or off playing golf. I’m sitting at the computer writing about my goals or converting my albums to MP3 or whatever it is that I want to do that day.

Maybe this makes me selfish or weird. I’m not even wanting to have relationships anymore, but every time I see this goal, it stirs something in me.

What’s your favorite goal that’s not yours?

Sep 27, 2007, 07:47PM PDT | 11 cheers


Comments:

Flash

Keep beating cancer, laugh while I'm doing it

http://www.43things.com/things/view/58784

I can only hope to face whatever adversity comes my way with such grace and ferocity and good humor.

Sep 29, 2007, 11:52AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 3 cheers

Kim N tripped over the fiscal cliff

That’s a great one. A goal I hope to never have to adopt, but I hope I could face it in that manner, too.

Sep 30, 2007, 02:03AM PDT | Respond to this 4 cheers

Waynesworld

I can relate.

I need my alone time, too and I think that it’s a good thing for spouses to go off and do things apart. You can’t be together for 24 hours a day (except on vacation) without eventually being at each other’s throats! ;)

Sep 29, 2007, 08:52PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

Kim N tripped over the fiscal cliff

Funny you mention vacations

I get the biggest natural high from vacations alone. I’ve been to Seattle, Phoenix, Baton Rouge and Jackson, MS by myself, and those trips are such great memories. Trips I’ve taken with people have usually involved arguments, and the one trip that didn’t, my friend told me later that he didn’t have a good time with me, so that ruined that memory.

I think I might not be made of the stuff that one needs to share life with someone else. That’s not a self-esteem issue. It’s just facing the fact that I like to be alone. It’s a cruel joke that I feel so lonely sometimes.

Are you able to spend time alone without it causing problems?

Sep 30, 2007, 02:10AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 5 cheers

Waynesworld

You just haven't found the right person yet.

And when he comes by, you will know.

For my own situation at home, it might be too much separate time and not enough time doing things together. I feel that we are too far apart sometimes, with our different interests and group of friends. Therefore, it is nice when we do go somewhere together and it doesn’t bother me that my “space” is invaded. But there are times when I do need my alone time.

I have also found that family vacations can sometimes cause arguments and clashes, especially if we are with each other 24-7. Our last mini-vacation to New York City was pretty good, though, except for a couple of instances where my 17 year-old was in a rude snit.

At the beginning of September, just the two of us drove out of town for the weekend for a wedding. We knew the bride. I made a promise to myself that I would try to help make that weekend really special and get along with my spouse. Overall, it was a great weekend, but several times I found I had to bite my tongue. ;)

Living with someone is definitely a chore sometimes, but I believe that there are compatible people out there for us, to make our lives happier and more exciting.

Sep 30, 2007, 08:58AM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

asterisk

your story reminds me

of this xkcd comic

I told my husband, “We would have gotten together a lot faster if we’d known about this rule.” :)

Oct 28, 2007, 05:52PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 8 cheers

Kim N tripped over the fiscal cliff

heh

I can imagine. :)

That rule’s a double-edged sword, though. Gotta pick your friends carefully.

Oct 28, 2007, 06:59PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 3 cheers

asterisk

ooh, good point!

Can’t believe I only considered the upside…WHAT HAVE I BECOME?? :)

Oct 28, 2007, 09:27PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 5 cheers

Kim N tripped over the fiscal cliff

I think it's wonderful

that you thought only of your husband. :)

Oct 29, 2007, 07:30PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

asterisk

it's been very convenient

that I’m not easily attracted to men, and that I’m too heteronormatively brainwashed to seriously go after women. Makes monogamy pretty painless.

Oct 30, 2007, 02:14PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 5 cheers

Monogamy - Turandot

Kim N has gotten 11 cheers on this entry.

 

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watch Grey's Anatomy Micky wants to Read all the books on the BBC Big Read Top 100 find someone to spend the rest of my life with be a vegetarian for a week build furniture spend less time online be more positive make brendon urie of panic! at the disco fall in love with me get out of debt meet panic! at the disco Sing in front of a crowd go on a road trip with no predetermined destination buy a car Lose 20 pounds volunteer in India raj_satan wants to find at least one thing each day that makes me happy and record it everyday for a year Learn Lithuanian Get more sleep Make a beat escape society Read the Bible learn german appreciate what I have paint my kitchen be hot look prettier arrakis wants to visit every country in Europe watch less tv
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