I have heard people talk about faking it as a way of convincing oneself to feel differently, but I hadn’t heard as good and real an example as this.

one thing I find of particular interest is that this required not letting your teacher see you afraid. One of my signature qualities is that I wear my fear on my sleeve. The truth is, I think I developed the habit a long LONG time ago, of expressing fear as a way of getting people not to be too harsh or hard on me. I think it just became ingrained as a behavior. If you show people you’re nervous, they won’t be as mean to you. If you walk around meekly with your tail between your legs, so to speak, the alpha dogs won’t bother to pick a fight with you.

But it occurs to me now, as I read your post, that if my habit of showing all my nervousness and vulnerability as a way of insulating myself (in various situations) from the fullness of people’s judgement (getting them to go easy on me because they know I’m nervous) .... well… what if that has shaped my own feelings and expectations as much as everyone else’s?

Maybe pretending to be fearless would be a better option… ? Maybe it would have a positive impact on my own performance in different arenas (personal and professional). Being openly ‘meek’ has kept me out of harm’s way pretty well. But it certainly has its drawbacks. Maybe I need to start strutting around and take on some alpha dogs, and pretend I know what the heck I’m doing.