Over the years, I have looked every where for love but I just found despair and betrayal. I feel in love with the wrong niggas, and shared my heart with people who only wanted to get from me what ever they could. I fell into a dark place again before I turned 30, a depression that almost over came me. But I released the resentments towards Micheal for naming our first child after his wife, who I didn’t even know he was married to until I was seven months pregnant with our second child. He took off to virgina with his five kids and wife, leaving me on welfare with an apartment 100 bucks over my income, pregnant again, raising already six kids, going to school and attending a recovery program. (I am an alcoholic, 3 years clean!) Then when our child was one year old and a stranger to him, he returned. Well, like a fool I welcomed him back, only to end up depressed, near blind with false promises, my college financial aid spent on him for a van that he wrecked in two weeks and a bank account he overdrew near a thousand dollars. I rose up one day and decided that no longer could he have my stuff! I looked in the mirror as he lauged at my discovery of his name game with our daughter and his wife, and I remembered who I needed love from. Not him, not children, but from god and myself. Oh yes, I remembered how to love myself. I Love and am loved by the only two individuals who can make or break me. God, and Me.