I think all men will eventually become worried about leaving a lasting mark in the world, proving that they existed, that they mattered. Some people fulfill this wish when they become parents, but I knew that would never do it for me. I had to BE SOMETHING.
Over the last few months, I’ve been working on a short film that I hoped would reach out and touch people, and I secretly felt that if it was good, then it would validate my existence.
Over the last few weeks, I watched it fall to pieces. I realized on my birthday that it wasn’t going to happen, and I was devastated for the entire day. I was angry and depressed, and I snapped at anyone who tried to make me feel better.
A little before midnight, after everybody had gone to sleep, I noticed a card on my dresser. It was from my parents. When I opened it, it said quite simply “You make a difference in the world just by being you.”
I don’t know. I just kind of thought about the last couple of months, all the things I’ve sacrificed for this project, all the friends I’ve lost, all the time gone. And there were people here that cared about my existence this whole time.
And I knew they were right. I haven’t regretted anything since.