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createkg is resting

quit smoking pot
It's time mi amigos

I have come to the conclusion that this must happen before all else. I have MANY things I want to accomplish… and many more things to add to my list here… but really it boils down to quiting this – now – life abating habit. Everything else I want to accomplish is effected by this. For example – 1. losing weight. This task may be difficult to begin with, but it becomes extremely difficult to do when you are constantly craving donuts/pizza/anythingthatisnotgoodforyou and having negative 10% motivation to do anything other than indulge your growing midsection … how in the hell am I going to do anything when I can only bring myself out of the reclined couch position to microwave more hot pockets??? WTF?? The crazy kicker is that I know this addiciton is destroying my life, self, self esteem, creativity – motivation—yet I continue to smoke. Well mi amigos “todays the day!” And I dont want to tell anyone I know. I’ve fallen into this over and over – a horrible feeling of self betrayal made real by vocalizing my plans to others. I will quietly mark on my calendar tomorrow as day one. And continue to visit this page to grow my list.



Comments:

yay!

All the best to you in your journey. I’m really interested in seeing how other people fare with this goal. I haven’t quit yet, but it nags at me every day – especially in the evenings when I’m too busy “indulging my growing midsection” to do anything worthwhile. I am depressed because I don’t accomplish much, but I keep on smoking and feeling bad about myself. It’s got to stop. It consumes my life. When I’m trying to quit, I can’t seem to be nice to anyone and all I think about is getting something. Then I cave in and go make a purchase, and confirm to myself that I am indeed a big fat loser. It’s a bad cycle.

It's doable

I celebrated my sixth month free of pot last week. After years of spending all of my money and time on the shit, stuck in a cycle of of self-hatred and depression, I finally made the hard call and got some professional help. I know it sounds dramatic and you think you can do it yourself, but you’ve tried it on your own before, haven’t you? I ‘quit’ a dozen times and tried to do it on my own but my head kept telling me stupid shit that kept sending me back to it. My two week ‘re-hab vacation’ was the best 14 days of my life. And don’t worry, they will take you seriously.

createkg is resting

and...

I had a pretty nice stretch of time since this entry… but alas fell off last week and have since not put it down. Had a full weekend of need to be dones all of which still need to get done now and I remember why I had to let this go in the first place… I had never considered the option of a “vacation” though I am rather curious since you have mentioned it. How can I get in contact with this place?

if you're ready

I used Kaiser because I had insurance. State disability paid 3/4 of my salary and they are FORBIDDEN to tell your work where you are. There are a lot of excuses you can use, like you’re getting an operation and need two weeks to recover, etc. If you don’t have insurance there are still programs you can use, and if you can’t take off work you can take evening classes. The important thing is talking with other people who have the same type of problem. You’ll realize you’re not alone. You can do it!


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