mudlarksmile wants to tell stories
i think i’m one of those ‘highly sensitive people’. sometimes i don’t want to be, but there it is, it’s a part of me that i’m tired of arguing with because at the end of the day, i look in the mirror and sometimes feel like i hate myself. there is just too much thinking and reflecting…
maybe it’s not (some) people that have hurt me, but it’s me. delusions; imagining that i’m being attacked, when… people are just people. -we don’t mean to hurt or cause pain towards others, but we do… and maybe i just have to keep telling myself that it’s okay.. don’t cry over spilt milk.
i find it hard to trust some (if not most) people, other than my family. even with a few friends who call me their ‘best friend’, deep down inside, there is a feeling of loathe and despise. when i’m not with them, it plays in my head, the things they’ve said or done that have hurt me. when i’m with them, these feelings seem to fade away; when i leave, they’re all back again.
of course, the easiest thing i could do is to confront… but i’m afraid of two things: i’ll burst into a bubble of tears, or i’ll just burst.