Its really hard to have colitis and pretend to be normal in the office. Everywhere I turn there’s always candy, cookies, bagels, brownies, pizza, birthday cake… and the worst part, its ALL FREE! For once, can an office have a no-carb/no sugar snackery for this mild-mannered super hero? I guess not.

Even though I have been living with colitis for over 3 years, sometimes I forget and eat a forbidden food. I really don’t know what compels me to do this. Is it because its free? Is it because I want to be like everyone else? Is it because I miss the taste? Maybe its a little of all of the above.

In order to stop the temptation, I’ve created a persona based on lies so co-workers won’t tempt me to eat those little slices of heaven. I’ve kept up a major lie that I’ve had my teeth whitened and if I eat anything sweet, it makes my teeth sensitive. For one, they feel sorry for my fake “botched-procedure” on my pearly whites. And second, they don’t want to see little me with a toothache. All I have to do is be good with my Crest White Strips and no one has to know.

I’ve used all kinds of lies, and the teeth-thing seems to work best. I’ve tried the “atkins diet” lie, but everyone seemed to hate me and my 105 lb. self. I’ve discovered the hard way that most people don’t like hearing about thin people being on diets.

I’ve also tried a lie where I said that I’m allergic to nearly everything. But that only led to a lot of questions and people trying to overly-mother me. I hated all of the attention.

I’m not obligated to tell ANYONE about my illness. But sometimes I find myself in situation where people want answers… even if it isn’t true. They want to know why I stay away from certain foods and blah blah blah.

When dealing with colitis: Lies work better than the truth. When I was first diagnosed, everyone in the office already knew there was something wrong because I was absent for weeks at a time. I told the truth and all it left me was trouble. I left my job because I was too sick to work. But when I was ready to go back… this is what happened:

I’m not a laywer or anything, but I would think that its illegal to deny employment for having an illness. But I know that (behind closed doors) I was denied a job that I applied for because of my illness. I don’t blame them. An employer wants to hire someone who can actually BE at work. I’ve put the past behind me.

Lies may not work in relationships, but they may work for colitis. I’m actually having fun with the teeth-thing. Its like a strange game to me now.

Fast forward to 2007. I’m in a great job that I enjoy and I feel almost normal! The problem is that I’m still in an office and there are cookies and cake everywhere. Lately I have been cheating on my diet :( Its been hard to resist all the free Halloween candy and the birthday cake… but I know now I have to stop cold turkey. I haven’t gotten a flare-up but if I keep at this pace, I am sure to get a one-way ticket to the hospital.

So, how do I fix this? Change the pace! I finally went grocery shopping and started cooking all my own SCD diet friendly foods. I’m starting all over! I cooked a big pot of soup and I’ve been eating it everyday. And tonight I baked a cheesecake from my “Breaking the Vicious Cycle” book. And you know what? The cheesecake tastes almost like the real thing!! Tomorrow I’m going to top my cheesecake with strawberry or apricot sugarless jam for a little more flavor. No one ever said that slices of heaven couldn’t be SCD.

Wish me luck.