Ivymere continually searches for her ground, her sky, and herself

Say "no" every time i feel like it and not feel guilty (read all 8 entries…)
:( I'm such a failure 2 years ago

Today, I just totally made up some excuse to get out of something I said I’d do.

Gosh, I’m a total failure at this!!! I feel so terrible. :( Yet I still do it. I think I do it to avoid backlash that saying a simple no would be. :(

Nov 15, 2007, 01:16AM PST | 2 cheers


Comments:

shoemaker is OVERWHELMED

A loop

Maybe feeling a failure is part of the problem.

You have to feel good about yourself in order to say no with confidence.

Try visualizing – I often find this helpfull.

Close your eyes, relax, breath, and imagine a situation where you say no – not an angry no, not a guilty no, just a firm, smiling “no, that isn’t right” or “no, I have to finish something else, that’s more important and urgent right now”.

And imagine the response, that is resptful, and hopefully even understanding.

GOOD LUCK!!

Nov 15, 2007, 02:07AM PST | Thread | Respond to this

Ivymere continually searches for her ground, her sky, and herself

Hmm

Well, maybe. I don’t know. I think I agree that I’id have to feel good about myself first. Visualization…maybe that might work. :)

I get stuck after I get past that part and the person gets nosy and asks, “Why not?” or “Why can’t you?”

And if I avoid answering, they’ll get all suspicious and be upset and yet if I say I don’t want to because I don’t, they take it as a poor answer.

Nov 15, 2007, 02:47AM PST | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

shoemaker is OVERWHELMED

Sometimes

I write the 3 biggest projects I’m handling in big block letters on my white board.

Then, when I say “no I have other things that I have to do first” – I just point at the board …

Nov 17, 2007, 11:24PM PST | Thread | Respond to this

Ivymere continually searches for her ground, her sky, and herself

LOL

In that case, I’d never go out :p. I have constant projects, if not actual ones, then personal ones or something. :D

I guess I also need ways to be strong enough to NOT feel the need to explain myself.

Thank you for your comments :)

Nov 18, 2007, 10:27PM PST | Respond to this 1 cheer


Ivymere has gotten 2 cheers on this entry.

 

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