damn. it's back again
2 years ago
i emailed my counsellor and asked to see her again early in the new year. hope she has space.
this sucks. i feel like such a freak.
Comments:
If it makes you feel less alone
I have the same problem and so do many, many others. It is the most common mental health problem, more than depression.
Not you, dearie.
Believe me, I’ve known some real freaks. Humans are made of a whole bunch of emotions and thoughts and anxiety is always going to be in the mix. You’re smart to realize that the balance is off and take steps to right it.
is it normal to cry all the time?
something is off kilter with me, i’m all over the place, not from high to low, but from ‘just coping’ to ‘falling apart’. i have been in tears 6 x today and they’re not far away now. i am so convinced i have something really bad wrong with me (apart from this fcking anxiety stuff) despite spending a fortune on medical tests and check ups in November and nothing showing up. i know from experience this is how my anxiety plays itself out – usually around physical health – but i’m not used to the tears. i’m sure i’ve got some massive tumour that the MRI scan just happened to miss. i should laugh but instead – more tears.
needless to say it’s taking a massive strain on my relationship with the x-x – last time he was home i was feeling fit as a fiddle and we were all happy, this time (he leaves tomorrow morning) we’ve had nothing but fights and he just doesn’t get my personal brand of craziness. and why should he? i don’t myself.
i feel at one of my lowest, craziest, most helpless points in many years.
JulieJordanScott is continually setting odd goals that need translation for many people
I have been in one of those
crying daily, sometimes many many many times daily spaces as of late.
You are not alone.
I enjoy that term you use, “My personal brand of craziness”... I am going to remember that.
I hate this for you. It sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it is NOT forever going to suck. But it does right now. The true crazies don’t realize when they’re slipping into something they can’t self-correct, so no matter how many times a day you cry, I’m still firmly on the “not a freak” side. Anxiety is treatable. I wish I was there to give you a hug in person. You’re strong and smart and you will feel better. Take tender care of you. Imagine Raph in the midst of an asthma attack and be at least that firm and fierce and sweet with yourself.
We love you, Faith. You’re not alone.
(((Faith)))
Anxiety and crying without knowing the cause seems so desolate.
I pray that you feel better very soon.
JulieJordanScott is continually setting odd goals that need translation for many people
totally off topic
(and my heart goes out to Faith,too)
is that I love your new avatar photo, Vrinda. You look gorgeous!
wembleyheads is all sorts of googly-eyed :D
((((faith))))
ah! that is what the beastie looks like. nameless anxiety, pointless tears that come out of nowhere. not a normal state to be in, but normal in the sense that everyone goes through rough patches. you will pull through this one, too. many hugs to you my dear.
(This comment was deleted.)
thank you so much
for all these supportive comments, to each one of you, it means a hige amount.
needless to say many of your words made me cry, but not in a bad way.
now that the x-x has gone i feel a lot of regret for the way this time together panned out, but also a huge amount of relief that i have space to sort myself out without him here.
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