I think that’s a good general rule.

Half the problem is that I don’t really know what I was aiming at. I’ve never had professionally made fondue, only my own atrocities. Maybe if I’d had it in a restaurant or something, I’d know what it was meant to look and taste like. But now I may have been put off for life.

That sounds lush. I baked a Camembert, that was good too. I guess I just wanted that authentic ‘70s dinner party experience (without the swinging and the Demis Roussos), but that sounds like a whole lot less hassle.

Well, acidic cider, and I didn’t use Kirsch cos we didn’t happen to have any kicking around. I suppose I could have used Lucyann2’s frightening sloe gin that’s been hanging around for a couple of years. But I think in future I’ll just melt a tub of Dairylea in the microwave.

Or some Toblerone?

I should watch out, LaTordue will take a swipe at me for stereotyping the Swiss.

Looks like a good film, though, I might get it added to the Amazon queue.

No Emmental? No wonder it went wrong. But the internet told me to! I’m not sure we can get Vacherin in Gateshead, but I’ll do my best. I never heard anything about 8-shape stirring, but I’ll give that a go if I attempt this again (obviously making sure I’m not menstruating at the time).

This will rankle your adopted-Swiss sensibilities – my mum got HA one of these for Christmas:

The recipe book has a recipe for cheese fondue. You take four one-inch cubes of Gruyere and a teaspoon of dry white wine, put them both in that tiny little pot, and nuke it in the microwave for three minutes. Surely that can’t be right.