Its been a tough month: lost another job, lost my dear friend of 10 years, intense run-ins with 2 ex-boyfriends, big snarling fight with my brother on Xmas eve, Mom’s health continues to decline, my aunt was just diagnosed with liver cancer,,,,all stressful to deal with…then had the frustration of my car breaking down 2 days before Xmas, and kept me from taking care of all those “last minute” details…

Generally, i just try to keep it together, keep it to myself. My parents have enough stress to deal with, without hearing of my little problems. But today, in talking with a friend, i let myself go and have big full-blown crying jag. The kind where it feels as if youre coughing up your insides, and your head pounds in pain….

But later i (again) realize what it costs to keep stuffing such feelings down. I was emotionally wrung-out and drained immediately after big jag; just came home and crawled into bed. But later in the evening, i felt tremendously better, lighter, more calm and centered. Also felt more productive and motivated, rather than wanting to hole up in bed as i have done for the past week…

...So i ask myself why i fight just feeling my emotions, when i know it makes matters worse. Old habits die hard i guess; it was my defense mechanism growing up to deflect overwhelming emotions by burying them.

“The only way out is Through…”